Maria
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Maria Lam |
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Dorley girl |
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| Gender | Female |
| Year of intake | ca. 2002 |
| Year of graduation | 2004 * |
| Sponsor | Karen |
| Gender at intake | Cis male |
| Date of birth | 1982-01-09 |
| Name at intake | [show]"Nic" |
| First appearance | Chapter 5 |
| Chapters with POV scenes | |
| edit this box | |
Maria is a coercively re-gendered woman who currently serves as the lead sponsor in the programme at Dorley Hall. She is currently sponsoring Bethany and is in a serious relationship with Edy.
Maria is around Bethany's height [SD 30] — 168 cm (5'6"). [LL] She has East Asian features [SD 5] including black hair; [SD 40] her parents are from Hong Kong. [SD 33] Elle and Frankie have both noted that she has "slender" fingers. [SD 34] [SD 37] As recently as 2004 she wore her hair long with little or no makeup. She speaks with a London accent. [SD 40]
Maria is marked with scars from her time under Karen's supervision during Grandmother's tenure at the Hall, particularly on her forearms which are criss-crossed with very faint scars; [SD 19] In the intervening years she has gradually become comfortable wearing short sleeve tops and even swimsuits. She occasionally suffers from PTSD symptoms stemming from her time in the basement. [SD 20] She has a faint scar on one of her temples following Leigh's attack on November 27th, 2019. [SD 36]
While generally "studious and sensible" [SD 10] in her role as senior sponsor, Maria has a strong sense of humor and is often observed making sardonic remarks and wisecracks and laughing at others' jokes. Christine notes that she "develops a bit of a mouth when she’s had a drink". [SD 10] She is not above making blithe jokes about her own "dark past". [SD 18]
As one of the oldest Sisters at the Hall, Maria is "prickly" about her age. [SD 10]
It is implied that Maria is involved in a post-grad program at Saints, and she has admitted that she has been "a little bit" tempted to force-feminize her research supervisor for pissing her off. [SD 10]
Attitude shift
Early on, Christine describes Maria as "always ready to see the worst in people" [SD 5] (Maria describes herself as "unyielding"); [SD 23] however, reflecting following her injury, her personality softens and she recalibrates her attitude around Beth [SD 32] and makes various adjustments to the programme with the wellbeing of the boys in mind. [SD 18] She notes that her priorities have changed following the attack -- unlike her time in the basement under Grandmother's regime, she now has "someone to live for", giving her cause to reassess her thinking. [SD 22]
Relationship with Edy
Originally part of the first intake post-takeover in 2004, Edy was Maria's first subject as a sponsor and "had rather a hard time" in the programme before even leaving the basement. Following her graduation, her relationship with Maria was distant; during her first sponsorship, she mostly only interacted with her via text messages. Edy eventually "got restless" and left the Hall in 2013, only to return some time later, having grown as a person through lived experience; meanwhile, the mood at the Hall had become "more relaxed" and "nicer". No longer resentful of Maria, Edy "finally started talking to her properly"; Maria apologized but Edy instead thanked her. The two did not get together until 2019. [SD 19]
The relationship is fairly new but the two are deeply committed to each other. Edy spends enough time in Maria's flat that they have talked about moving Edy's belongings in. The two are similar sizes and have been sharing clothes for "a long time". [SD 20]
Edy often chides Maria for her habit of making "dark jokes". [SD 19]
Pre-transition
Maria came from a small, working-class immigrant family [SD 18] struggling to make ends meet; [SD 24] she describes them as having very little money "but a lot of love" [SD 31] and that, as a boy, she was loved and shown kindness. [SD 33]
Her parents "built their own community" and were "very serious" about Christmas and would welcome in neighbors for festivities and to give them small gifts of cake or homemade toys. [SD 31]
Caught up in petty theft charges ("really petty"), Maria spent six weeks in jail after a guilty plea and was barely home a week before being abducted by the Hall. [SD 24]
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Grandmother's Dorley
Maria was one of the many young men abducted and forcibly feminized by Dorothy Marsden at Dorley Hall. It is implied that she was captured in 2002 at the age of 20; [SD 18] she was abducted outside her home on the way back from the shops. [SD 24] Her time in the basement was brutal; her sponsor, Karen, [SD 37] was a bloodthirsty sadist who would regularly cut her with a blade. Karen "liked to play around the vein" in her arms, teasing her with near-fatal wounds and waking her by cutting into her while she was asleep. [SD 19] Maria recalls also being burned, hit, stroked, taunted and groped, as well as suffering "demeaning" punishments for refusing to serve drinks and obey guests of the Hall. It is alluded that she was also tied up in restrictive, shibari-like bondage [SD 31] and "put in the dark". [SD 40] Christine states that Karen was "sick" and loved to humiliate and hurt people. [SD 21] Maria's time in the basement was "worse" than Bea's. [SD 31]
Dorothy and Karen, unable to properly pronounce her birth name, "twisted" it into a single syllable, calling her "Nic". [SD 37]
At some point during her imprisonment, Maria's parents were killed as punishment for her "unruly" behavior. Abby states, "Maria fought them, and they killed her parents and showed her the proof.” It is implied that their murders were staged to look like suicides. [SD 18] Frankie recalls that Maria was still "too difficult to break" after her family was killed. [SD 40]
Unlike the majority of "Dorley girls" under Dorothy's tenure, Maria made the psychological transition from male to female, in the process taking the name "Maria" and refusing to de-transition after being freed; Maria states afterward that the man she used to be died with her family. [SD 31]
While still a captive, Maria was instrumental in the success of the financial takeover which ended the original programme at Dorley Hall, passing information along to Elle and Beatrice which gave them the power to depose Grandmother and take Dorley Hall for themselves. Maria was present on August 8th, 2004 when Bea arrived to inform Dorothy that ownership of the Hall had changed hands [SD 15] and helped oversee the immediate renovations when Elle's crew arrived later that day. [SD 34]
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Modern Dorley
Maria was one of the architects of the modern Dorley programme and was present during the first planning meeting on December 24, 2004 where she nominated Edy for the first intake. [SD 31]
Following the takeover, Maria kept a small memorial to the eleven slain subjects from her time under Grandmother's regime in one of the Hall's spare room that she sometimes visited to reflect on. Though Beatrice had the information, she Initially declined to learn the full number of the dead before her arrival; it is unknown if she has changed her mind the intervening years. [SD 31]
At present, she serves as the lead sponsor of the programme, and is effectively Aunt Bea's second-in-command, with "operational control" of the Hall. [SD 18] She is often seen at Beatrice's side during parties and events and has a casual, collegial relationship with her behind closed doors. Maria is the only sponsor aware of Bea and Elle's continued relationship outside of the Hall, prior to Valérie's return. [SD 15] One of her next big projects for 2020 is to organize a committee to determine if the NPHs, particularly the trans-origin ones, need to be adjusted for security purposes against TERF forums that attempt to dox and harass trans women. [SD 41]
Christine observes that, like Bea, Maria is "institutionalized" and incapable of leaving the Hall, [SD 10] though later she admits the assumption is a "little unfair" after learning more about her history. [SD 18] Bea observes to herself that Maria was, "in a sense, born here; she found her family here; she’ll probably die here." [SD 15]
Maria has a bedsit flat on the third floor of the Hall [SD 19] which previously belonged to Tilly, one of Dorothy's sponsors. [SD 43]
This section is incomplete. You can help by expanding it.
Sponsoring
Pippa says of Maria that "she’s been a sponsor for a long time, and she’s good at it". Christine remarks that "she’s been basically running this place for years". [SD 16] All of the women currently at the Hall, save for Bea, transitioned under her supervision. [SD 24]
2019 intake
Maria is assigned to Aaron in the 2019 intake. At some point before Steph arrived, Aaron earned a strike for flashing his penis at someone, presumably Maria. [SD 11] Christine reports that she complains to other Sisters about how annoying he is. [SD 8] At first, she keeps him at a "perfunctory" arm's length; Aaron complains to Steph that "she hates me" [SD 11] and that she treats him "like a disobedient child". [SD 13] Early on, Maria provides Aaron with educational books on "toxic masculinity and stuff" early on, temporarily deleting the media off his phone to encourage him to read them. [SD 11] As his time in the basement goes on, Aaron frequently reflects on what Maria has or would say and lessons she has taught him.
Maria intervenes along with Monica and Pippa when Declan makes an attempted attack on Steph and Aaron in the shower annexe. [SD 9] Maria's attitude towards Steph changes after she observes her helping Aaron following the attack. [SD 16]
Maria is present during Steph's exam conducted by Karen on the 26th of October [SD 11] and is forced to make the decision to veil her feelings in order to keep up the appearance of cohesion on the sponsor side. Following Steph's meeting with Aunt Bea afterward, she reveals the truth of Karen's history at Grandmother's Dorley to Pippa, Abby, Christine, and Paige, admitting that they didn't have much choice in hiring her; Abby asks Christine and Abby to give Maria time and to not be "too angry" with her. Pippa and Christine speculate that Karen likely deadnamed and disrespected Maria during the debriefing after the exams. [SD 12]
When Pippa uncovers Steph's deception, Maria notices her abruptly going to the roof. Going back through the security footage, she catches on to the situation and goes to the roof to confront her, Christine, and Paige before reporting the development to Bea. [SD 14]
In Beatrice's office following Declan's washout on November 9th, Maria reassures Bea regarding her decision to expel him and consoles her with a hug. Maria plays a recorded message from Pippa thanking Bea for allowing Steph to stay at the Hall and castigating her for her heavy-handed, manipulative treatment of Steph, convincing her to allow her to oversee Steph's transition with full autonomy. Discussing Steph, Bea and Maria remark on her reluctance to use female pronouns and decide to add Steph's cover story of going backpacking abroad to the sponsor handbook for future use. The two make plans to reveal Steph's true identity to everyone at the Hall at an all-hands meeting the next day. Maria updates Bea on Christine and Paige's relationship status. [SD 15]
Attacked
After Declan's washout, Leigh becomes convinced Declan has been killed and that the rest of the intake are similarly doomed, which leads to Leigh teaming up with Ollie and Raph. Led by Leigh, the three stage a surprise attack against the sponsors on November 27th, culminating in Leigh slamming Maria's head into the concrete floor [SD 17] while her back is turned, [SD 18] seriously injuring her. As Peckinville PMCs clear the room, Steph and Edy rush to her side until help arrives; soon after, she she is moved to the kitchen, where she is "conscious but incoherent". Edy quickly stages the kitchen to make it appear as if Maria had an accident and fell; she has Christine leave for the hospital ahead of the ambulance in order to help establish a cover story. In the basement, Paige reassures Steph that Maria was unconscious for less than thirty seconds. [SD 17]
Christine and Abby stay the night with Maria in the hospital under Rabia's supervision. [SD 17] Concussed, Maria slips in and out of lucidness, at one point waking up believing she was being attacked again. Abby speculates that the event has unearthed old traumas. [SD 18] As she recovers in her hospital room the next day, Maria begins ruminating on her past, sharing happy memories of her childhood and her parents with Christine and Abby. She resolves to expand the cereal selection in the basement beyond Weetabix to include "something nice" when she returns to the Hall. When Aunt Bea arrives, she implores her not to wash Leigh or the others out and blames herself for letting her guard down. Outside, Abby informs Christine that Maria's parents were both killed by Grandmother. Edy is finally able to visit later that day; after the two reconnect, Abby and Beatrice join them to watch The Lord of the Rings on a laptop and send a series of selfies to the Hall via Consensus to reassure everyone. [SD 18]
While Maria is out of commission, Indira temporarily steps in as Aaron's sponsor. Bethany writes Maria a "surprisingly polite" get-well-soon card while she is in the hospital. [SD 18]
Maria returns to the Hall on November 29th. Steph visits her in her flat to find her convalescing in bed and attempting to work and catch up on recent events rather than rest. Maria offers her the opportunity to move out of the basement to an upper floor, but Steph, unable to leave Aaron alone, declines. Maria inquires about Stephanie (still going by Stef at this point) picking a new name; when Steph wavers, Maria tells her the story of her time at Grandmother's Dorley and her techniques to keep her captives as "men in women's bodies". Maria encourages Steph to fight her dysphoria rather than face the same torture: "Name it as your enemy and kill it.” Returning to the basement, Steph is granted a room on the first floor and access to most of the biometric locks. [SD 19]
Return to sponsoring
Maria volunteers to take over some admin duties for the second years while recovering. She is still sensitive to light as of December 2nd [SD 20] but is showing improvement by the 5th; [SD 21] she is still occasionally experiencing dizzy spells but returns to sponsoring duties on December 11th. That morning, when Maria asks if he is ready to cooperate with the programme, Aaron prickles; Maria reveals that some of the other sponsors are now rooting for him to become a better person. Maria explains that Aaron is not capable of breaking the cycle and returning to his old life as man because he does not yet know how to be anyone else. Maria spells out Aaron's likely fate as a free man: he will inevitably give in to temptation and, now burdened with self-loathing for not being able to stop himself, will either kill himself or wish he was dead. Aaron, searching himself, is unable to deny the accusation. Before Maria leaves for the common room, Aaron makes an anxious plea that the sponsors no longer send Steph into potentially dangerous situations like her visit with Will; Maria assures him they will be careful. As she leaves, Maria offers Aaron a sports bra; he declines. [SD 22]
Later, during a break during one of Monica's lectures on feminism, Aaron catches Maria in an unguarded mood. Maria tells Aaron that she is proud of his progress towards becoming a better person and promises him to one day tell him about her past and that there will come a time when he will understand why Maria believes in the programme. Maria makes a show of momentarily disabling the security cameras to make herself vulnerable and allow Aaron some privacy, then embraces Aaron in a hug; overcome, Aaron cries into her shoulder. Afterward, Maria asks Steph to check in on him, informing her that he has reached a delicate inflection point. [SD 22] That afternoon, Aaron confides to Steph that he has realized he no longer has the heart to harm Maria and that he is done fighting the programme. [SD 23]
Later that same day, Aaron experiences a moment of ego death alone in his room. When Nell spots Aaron staring at his reflection on the security feed, word gets to Maria, who goes to check on him. In his room, Aaron confesses that he considers himself to be an empty shell, incapable of change. Comparing himself to how Steph has taken to femininity, he is convinced that he cannot adapt and will not survive the programme; not wanting to risk hurting Steph by dragging things out further, he asks Maria to help him kill himself. Maria refuses, telling Aaron that she cannot because she believes she will one day love him like a sister. [SD 23] Maria tells Aaron the story of her own kidnapping and her time at Grandmother's Dorley and reveals the truth of Dorley Hall. [SD 24] When Aaron goes to look for Steph late the next day, Pippa has taken her upstairs. Maria meets Aaron in his room and gives him Steph's full backstory. When Aaron and Steph meet again and make up, Steph eventually falls asleep first. Not wanting to disturb her, Aaron requests something to watch on Stephanie's PC; Maria loads up The Little Mermaid. [SD 25]
By December 16th, Maria and Edy have stopped hiding their relationship from the basementees. Maria's treatment of Aaron begins to shift into that of a big sister; she is more light-hearted with him and enjoys teasing him from time to time. Having begun to come around on participating in the programme, Aaron has acquiesced to wearing bras; he alludes that Maria is also "passive-aggressively" stocking his wardrobe with knickers. The same morning, Vicky reports to Christine that Maria has begun officially providing HRT for Lorna, who has recently been read in. [SD 27]
Later that day, Will is reintroduced to the common area and publicly apologizes to Maria. [SD 27] Pippa, Steph, and Maria get Yasmin to come visit Aaron in the basement so she can talk to another participant in the programme he can relate to. [SD 29]
Maria oversees a group sponsor visit to Ollie and Raph's cells on Christmas Eve before the two are returned to the common area. When Ollie blows up almost immediately after and lunges for Jane's weapon, Maria tases him and he is sent back to the cells. [SD 30] With Maria's permission, Aaron attends the 2019 Christmas Eve party in a tuxedo, [SD 31] silk shirt, and tie; [SD 31] he wears a name tag with no pronouns. While preparing for the party, Maria tells him that he is making "incredible" progress and that she is proud of him. [SD 30] Maria sits with Edy at dinner. Ashley observes that she is a "perfect picture of health" following her attack (though Aaron notes that she is still not fully recovered). After dinner, Maria relates a story to the room about her parents and the community they built as immigrants and raises a toast to "the people we've lost". Later, noting he is sleep deprived, Maria suggests that Aaron start progesterone soon. [SD 31]
Bethany
On Christmas morning, Will has an outburst which leaves Beth shaken; Christine escorts Beth and Steph to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. There, Maria takes Aaron aside and he whispers his new name in Maria's ear. When Maria steps out for a bit, Steph approaches Aaron, who reveals her new name: Bethany Erin Holt. [SD 32] Bethany begins using she / her pronouns immediately after. Maria informs Beth that she cannot use her surname. [SD 33]
On the 26th, Will is incredulous when Bethany reveals she has picked a new name, repeatedly deadnaming and misgendering her until Maria intervenes, threatening to wash him out. Beth gets up and leaves the common area with Maria, returning shortly wearing a "slutty" catholic schoolgirl uniform and wig. She parades around the common room and makes out with Steph in order to make Leigh uncomfortable. Provoked, WIll removes himself to his room, and Tabitha finally recognizes his distress as envy. When pressed, Will confesses that he has wanted to be a girl "forever". By the 28th, Bethany's confidence has been shaken by word of Will coming out as trans, causing her to question the basis of her own feminine identity. Spiraling after refusing an invitation to join Pippa and Steph upstairs, she is visited by Maria, who insists that she speak with Will again. Bethany confronts Will in his room, pushing him to face himself by again dressing in an overtly feminine style and repeatedly emphasizing use of his name. Under Beth's prodding, Will reveals his history repressing himself. Pushing back against Will's stubborn misery and continued deadnaming, Beth's resolve is strengthened. [SD 33]
On December 30th, Maria escorts Rachel and Amy to the Hall for disclosure. Maria is present when the two are read in and sign their NDAs. Meanwhile, Abby's unauthorized reunion with her family has been unearthed by Elle's investigation into the missing Peckinville soldiers. Bea tasks Maria with bringing Abby in for a meeting to arrange official approval and oversight of the reunion. [SD 34] Maria is again present when a defeated Rachel returns on January 4th to apologize. [SD 35]
Relapse
Maria is in the entrance hall when the Stenordale escapees arrive on the 5th; she flies in to a rage at the sight of Frankie and must be restrained by Edy [SD 36] before the exertion causes a relapse in her concussion symptoms, rendering her incapacitated. Recovering a bit, she implores Valérie to stay at the Hall "for Bea". Her judgement impaired, she slips away while Edy is preoccupied and confronts Frankie in a room on the ground floor, threatening her with a knife and attempting to provoke her into deadnaming her. Reliving her past abuses suffered in the same room, she is consumed with rage; Frankie talks her down, catching her when she finally collapses. Edy finally discovers her and returns her to her room to sleep it off. [SD 37] Later she orders that Frankie be kept somewhere in the Hall where she will "never have to see her". [SD 38] Out of an abundance of caution, Edy keeps Maria resting in bed and attempts, unsuccessfully, to prohibit her from working for a week. [SD 39]
Maria takes a shift in the basement during the lockdown following the discovery of bodies at Stenordale Manor on January 13th and comforts Beth, who is forced to ride out a claustrophobic panic attack downstairs. SD 42] When the lockdown is eventually lifted, Bethany makes Maria promise to let her sleep upstairs once a week. [SD 44]
On the 17th of January, Frankie goes to Maria for permission to see Ollie, who has continued asking Harmony after her. Initially against the idea, Maria relents, allowing Frankie to visit him under Harmony's supervision and threat of death, should she misbehave. [SD 43]
This section is incomplete. You can help by expanding it.
Trivia
Maria's favorite mug reads: Come to the Royal College of Saint Almsworth and find yourself! IF WE DON’T FIND YOU FIRST!! [SD 23] For her birthday in 2020, Edy gets her a mug that reads: The wages of sin is Beth with a cartoon rendering of Bethany on it. [SD 40]
She likes shopping for expensive brands of clothing at a big department store in the city. [SD 20]
Maria expresses familiarity with the literature when Jane brings it up. [SD 30]
At some point before Christmas 2019, Maria creates a compilation of Aarons' "greatest hits" running his mouth from security footage. Beatrice has seen it. [SD 31]
Notes on biographical details
- Full name: Thus far, Frankie is the only person to refer to her as "Maria Lam". [SD 37] [SD 43] It is not explicitly stated whether "Lam" is Maria's current surname or her surname at intake, but Maria has stated that she nearly took the surname of a female Cantonese singer her mother had liked; [SD 32] given Maria and Frankie's murky history together, it is unclear if she ultimately kept her original surname or if Lam originates elsewhere. There is fan speculation that she may have substituted the surname of the Cantonese singer George Lam instead.
- Name at intake: Grandmother's staff called Maria "Nic", [SD 15] but this was actually a shortened, bastardized version of her Cantonese first name. [SD 37] Her full name at intake has not been officially established.
- Year of intake: Grandmother's Dorley did not have regular, organized intakes, but Maria had been at the Hall for some time when the coup was staged in 2004. Abby alludes that she was abducted at the age of twenty, which would place her likely year of intake at 2002. [SD 18]
- Year of graduation: Maria was freed in the 2004 takeover; Grandmother's Dorley did not have graduates.
- Gender identity: Maria states she is a woman, "unequivocally and irrevocably", but the label of "trans woman" has "never fit" her. [SD 19]
| Dorley girls (and a few non-girls) | |
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| Grandmother's (liberated) | Barbara, Charles Mount-Farrow, Gerry, Maria (Karen), Natalie, Sarah, Trish, plus unnamed girls liberated by Aunt Bea |
| 2019 intake | Adam (Edy), Bethany (Maria), Diana (Monica), Leigh (Tabitha), Martin (Pamela), Ollie (Harmony), Raph (Jane), Stephanie (Pippa) |
| 2005 intake | Edy (Maria), unnamed (Aunt Ashley), unnamed (Barbara), unnamed (Sarah), unnamed (Trish) |